deadass lost the plot on this one after like 45 minutes... the house is evil but also vampires plan to show up and eat the town or turn them all into vampires and also the vampires are boyfriends and also the stephen king stand-in adopts a preternaturally mature 14 year old and they go to guatemala where the holy water glows, and actually it never really mattered that the house has been evil for like 30 or 130 years because the real evil is gay antiques dealers who steal stephen king's perfect hetero romance.........

see this review on letterboxd.